I am writing this on a gloomy day in London, quite a difference to Bali. But, it is the 10th of may, 2021 which means it is my sisters 18th birthday. I woke up this morning to her giving me a phone call from a hotel in the city that she and my mother reside in - Phnom Penh. I was sat listening to the wind blow through the window of my third floor flat in NorthWest London. I could feel the humidity and smell the fauna from the tropical plants surrounding the glistening blue pool that my sister was sat beside. The yearning I have for home and that heat makes my mouth fill with saliva.
After my sisters phone died mid conversation about a new boy on the scene I began to look through photos to post of us together on my Instagram. I haven’t seen my mum or sister for nearly 2 years due to the pandemic so any recent photos of us are very limited. The ones that I gravitated towards that weren’t from when we were toddlers in a bubble bath were from our holiday in Bali. The feeling that that island gives me especially on a grey cloudy day like today is comfort. I never lived in Bali but I lived in South East Asia and the distance due to COVID from that part of the world has instilled a sense of separation to home that I never expected I would feel.
I went to Bali in April 2019 with my best friend for 2 weeks and spent a week in the middle with my mum and sister. That week was spent with days lying in the sand on the beach in Canggu whilst my sister surfed, and I attempted a few times before I got scared of drowning under a huge wave. The evenings on holidays in tropical countries are what stand out to me and give me this sense of comfort. The humidity in the evening is like a warm hug. The smell is a mixture of shampoo, after sun, incense and mosquito spray, but to me that’s perfect.
The day is spent in the heat, sweating, sun blazing on my soon to be pink skin but once the sun sets in it’s beautiful orange pink glow the calmness and relaxation of the evening excites me. Showering the sand off, finally being able to put makeup on that won’t come off through swimming or sweating. Being able to wear a long skirt or trousers with a small top and enjoying good food and cocktails.
A cloudy day in London is different to a cloudy day in Bali. The coldness in the UK makes me feel as though I can cuddle up under a blanket and watch Netflix all day whilst drinking wild apple and cinnamon tea. But for some reason today all I can think about is the blanket of warmth and comfort from sitting out in shorts and a T-shirt listening to the torrential tropical rain hit the streets of Asia, be it in Cambodia or Bali.
This is home to me and it is what I am craving more than ever on my little sisters 18th and a day like today.
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